a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
"It has enough psychic energy to blast everything within 300 feet of itself, but it has no control over its power." -Pokedex in Y-Version ”The organ that emits its intense psychic power is sheltered by its ears to keep power from leaking out.” -Pokedex in X-Version
IT ISN’T FOLDING ITS EARS TO BE CUTE. IT’S TRYING NOT TO KILL EVERYTHING WITHIN A 300 FOOT RADIUS.]